Erik: yo
Us: Can you hear us?
Erik: I don’t have a mic here. I can see and hear you.
Us: What about video?
Erik: I don’t have a mic or a camera. The usual place (internet café) is closed today. I got cheated out of 400 (tsh) today. No, I didn’t get transferred.
Us: How much money is that? About $4?
Erik: Actually, it’s about $2. Well, it’s a weird circumstance. I ordered my lunch, my companion didn’t and they doubled my order to give to him.
Us: They are so generous with your money
Erik: He didn’t have enough money so I had to pay for it. They thought that Elder P had ordered the same thing.
Us: When do you get more funds?
Erik: The end of the month. We withdraw at the end of every month.
Us: We cannot copy the chat log. We need to set up a shared google doc to use in place of this chat log. Then we would have a record of the conversation.
Erik: okay
Us: Who got transferred in your district today?
Erik: Elder Clegg. He was on cloud 9. He’s been on his mission 6 months, and he’s been here all 6! He’s somewhere in Kenya.
Us: Do you use your debit card to buy things?
Erik: I don’t use a card, I carry cash. Cash only!
Us: Do you have enough money?
Erik: Well, I’ll just be eating Walenyama twice today. I’m on a tight budget because I’m cautious (with my money). I withdew it all.
Us: What is Walenyama?
Erik: It’s beef and rice. It’s what I eat for lunch.
Us: Did you get Pizza Hut on Saturday?
Erik: Yes. It was 14000 (tsh). It was tiny! I ate it in one sitting.
Us: Did you get the stuff we sent?
Erik: I haven’t gotten it yet but the elders haven’t arrived from Nairobi yet.
Us: When do they come?
Erik: Tomorrow. Hey Dad, I killed a Gokiburi. One of his friends tried to jump on my head later. They are both dead. How big? BIG! The size of dad’s palm.
Us: Did you take a picture?
Erik: Why would I take a picture? It was huge! I have no interest in taking a photo. I was more interested in chucking the body out. Another of his friends also got revenge. I swallowed a fly as I was talking to Elder P. I quite literally puked!
Us: (laughing) Aren’t the flies really big there?
Erik: Yes. And tough. They are hard to kill for their size.
Us: How did you actually swallow it?!
Erik: I was talking to Elder P and it flew down my throat!
Us: Can you laugh about it now or are you still disgusted?
Erik: It’s been a week. I can laugh. Here’s something else funny. The sisters were teaching a guy. They found out later that he was a pastor who had just opened his own church. He was getting ‘ideas’ from the lessons. Read 2 Nephi 28. It warns about false priests. I also got to ride in the smallest Daladala (bus) last week. It was a van like the Arkoudi (neighbors) van. It had been gutted. I had an Indiana Jones moment while riding it.
Us: Which Indiana Jones
Erik: Any of them! The road was so bumpy that if I stopped paying attention I would hit my head.
Us: Do you want to hang up so you can send an email?
Erik: I kinda want to talk to you like this. I have taken notes so even if I have to wait to tell my stories they will get told.
Us: Can you see the pictures I (mom) sent with my email?
Erik: Some can. Some can’t. I saw Karissa got ‘The lightening Thief’ something. Pictures have to be sent as attachments.
Us: Aunt Kristen’s mother passed away.
Erik: I feel bad, but I know she wasn’t doing so well. I just wrote a 4 page talk on the plan of salvation, so I’m not too worried. I had nothing else to do on Sunday.
Us: Is it the doctrine according to Erik?
Erik: No. I have annotations and stuff. I’ll send it once I get the word processor. I plan on writing talks for all different kinds of things. And sending it home for you guys. I like ‘writing’ in my journal. But I would be able to send you more complete updates (with the word processor). Dad, teach Z how to polish his shoes.
Us: Did Elder P teach you how?
Erik: No. I taught myself.
Us: Did you hear anything about Elder Duke?
Erik: No, nothing.
Us: Are you still wearing the same tie?
Erik: I’m gonna kill that tie, and then move on. I have three, and the baptismal tie.
Us: Ugh! It must be so dirty!
Erik: It’s not dirty. I’m a Ninja!
Us: Have you had any baptisms?
Erik: No, no baptism, but the Spirit made me do something crazy yesterday. I extended two baptismal dates on the first lesson to a father and a son.
Us: What?!
Erik: Elder P was staring at me like ‘what are you doing?’ This isn’t Elder Benson!
Us: Way to go Elder Calhoun! Did they accept?
Erik: They accepted! No thoughts, it was just coming outta my mouth. The phrase in Japanese when they say ‘no’ is ‘dekiru dekirimasu’ right? The key phrase here is ‘busy’. ‘I’m so busy’. (Erik mimicking) “Oh, I can’t read, even though all I’m doing is messing with my phone as I’m talking to you, and nobody is coming to my business, I’m tooooooo busssssyyyyy!” I literally had a moment like that.
Us: Elder Duke went to Buruburu.
Erik Buruburu, huh? I kinda thought they would send him home.
Us: No. He is getting treatment in Nairobi. He feels he is doing better. He went from being numb to feeling pain. He says that is progress.
Erik: That’s good.
Us: Where you able to find more of the drink that you like?
Erik: Schweppes +C. Yeah, they started stocking it again after three weeks.
Us: Good. You need things like that to look forward to.
Erik: Yeah. That’s what I was thinking. This place doesn’t have a lot of things I need.
Us: Can you upload pictures and video?
Erik: I won’t have time here. I took a lot, so look forward to next week. Hi Jordie!
Us: Are you locking you SD card when you use it so you don’t get a virus?
Erik: Yes, I’m locking it. Haven’t forgotten.
Us: Patrick Olsen was going to be a trainer this transfer but his trainee didn’t make it out of the MTC.
Erik: He died:
Us: No. We went home early.
Erik: We had someone in the MTC group before us die.
Us: Yes, we knew but didn’t want to tell you for fear it would freak you out.
Erik: Yeah, I wasn’t worried. I don’t worry about death. I would have a ‘Dang It!’ I didn’t get to play Kingdom Hearts III moment.
Us: Well I do (mom) about you!
Erik: I don’t worry about death for myself. I’m terrified for the rest of you.
Us: We’re all fine here. Everyone is well and doing great.
Erik: That’s good.
Us: Grandpa went to the hospital last night with chest pain and shortness of breath but we was tested and everything looked good so he went home.
Erik: He’s okay? That’s good.
Us: Who got transferred today?
Erik: In the district, one sister went home. One went to Kenya. Elder Clegg is the only elder transferred though.
Us: How many sets of missionaries are in your district?
Erik: Two pair of elders, two pair of sisters. How goes my invitations? Hi Kiki!
Us: We are soooooo busy! Hahaha
Erik: That’s no excuse! I don’t see any fat cats here. There was one staring at me begging with it’s one eye. It was disgusting to look at. I’m not sure if my stomach was twisting from disgust or pity. I also really hate it when people walk up to me and ask for money.
Us: You’re perceived as a rich, white American.
Erik: Yup. Wearing a white shirt. I get fewer people bothering me than Elder Clegg. I look Chinese. I just look like I have money. Some of these people even look like they have more money than I.
Us: How’s your weight? Are you still losing weight?
Erik: Weight? Dunno. I’m eating more. I found the sweets isle.
Us: What do you eat?
Erik: They stopped stocking my fav. It was a brand of chocolate called Ivory. So, I’ve moved onto this stuff called Nutro. It’s like a grahm cracker with a bit of chocolate in the middle; like an oreo. They’re alright. I’m also eating Niseramen for dinner with my roll and egg.
Us: What is that?
Erik: Instant ramen. Nisemono Ramen.
Us: Do they have any peanut butter and chocolate treats like Reeses?
Erik: If they do, it would be expensive. The only time I saw Reeses here it was 4000 (tsh) for a little thing. That’s what I spend on my entire lunch! Pringles here is 8000 (tsh). It is so expensive because it has to do with imports. At the cheapest, Nutella is 14000 (tsh) for a little jar. The value of stuff here is weird. I can buy a 1.25 liter thing of Sprite for 2000 (tsh).
Us: (Dad) I need to take the kids to school. I’m going to sign off. Well I’m not (mom)!
Erik: Mom isn’t going to let go.
Us: Do you think you can call 30 minutes earlier next time?
Erik: I’ll try. Today was weird. We had to ride a Daladala to this internet café. I should be able to do it. I usually go to the cyber at 3:00 anyway. Oh, before you go, I have some invitations.
Us: No, no, no! Too many invitations!!!!!!!!
Erik: Use only paper scriptures everyone. When you use paper scriptures, it’s easier to focus. There aren’t any distractions.
Us: We have been working on your invitations. Come Follow Me invited the family to memorize scriptures together. We will do that.
Erik: Memorize the articles of faith. We have forgotten them (from our youth). Dad, please help Z prepare a FHE on the Plan of Salvation. Use Preach My Gospel. Karissa, did you teach the FHE I recommended? Please do so. It will help. I don’t want to hear anything about busy. I guarantee I’m the most busy here. I want her to teach a lesson on feeling the Holy Ghost. Should read chapter 4 of PMG to prepare. I promise that if she puts in her whole effort the testimony of the family will grow.
Us: (Jordan starts whistling)
Erik: Smack him! Anyway, I just want my siblings to get more involved in the gospel.
Us: The church is changing the seminary curriculum to be in line with Come Follow Me.
Erik: That’s good. I don’t remember any of the curriculum. I slept through it all. I haven’t heard a thing from Come Follow Me since I left.
Us: It will be good to have everything in line. Come Follow Me has helped with family discussion and participation.
Erik: That’s all very good. All I know is how we were when I left.
Us: What about general conference for you? How and when will you watch it?
Erik: We’re excited! (mom) No more caffeine for you! (Mom was drinking a can of Diet Dr Pepper while chatting). We should be able to watch it live, but we aren’t 100% sure.
Us: There is rumor of changes to the Word of Wisdom and missionary work.
Erik: We elders are expecting a new Missionary Handbook.
Us: Where will you go to watch it?
Erik: The chapel in Un Ubungo. It should be in English, maybe with Kiswahili subtitles. I know a bit more. I hate how the people here are about Swahili. If I try and us my broken Swahili (and I do) they laugh at me and say “Swahili is easy”. I’m always tempted to mock them for their English.
Us: Don’t! Do you have a pillow?
Erik: Yes, I have a pillow. Sleeping well? My feet hand off the bed.
Us: Are you sleeping better?
Erik: I get up several times a night. I’m a super light sleeper now.
Us: Is it the heat? Noises?
Erik: I dunno. I just am a really light sleeper now. If my companion gets up to use the bathroom, then I wake up too.
Us: Make earplugs with TP to help block sound. That’ what I do.
Erik: I’m not sticking the TP here into my ears! It’s really bad! It’s rough and it tears really bad. It doesn’t clean well either. And it’s 500 (tsh) a roll! You can only buy them individually. Everything here is bought individually
Us: We’ll send TP
Erik: Don’t send TP! Send more useful stuff, like nice pens.
Us: Are eggs sold individually?
Erik: Yup. Eggs are 300 (tsh) each.
Us: We sent you more pens. And refills too.
Erik: Good. I’ve killed three of those G-2s. I haven’t seen the refills. Using a blue pen after 2 months of black pens is weird.
Us: More are coming. I had all your stuff packed nicely in a plastic packing envelope but Sister Duke decided to repackage everything because she heard plastic bags are illegal in Kenya. So illegal that it includes a fine and jail time.
Erik: Thank you! I like black more. Bye Dad! Plastic bags? Illegal? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We’re given plastic bags EVERY TIME WE GO SHOPPING!
Us: Well it must just be in Kenya then.
Erik: You don’t want to be in an African jail. Hi Lacey! Lacey, help Mom prepare a FHE about your favorite Book of Mormon story. Well, Karissa should teach tonight, then Z, then Lacey.
Us: Then J?
Erik: Yes.
Us: (Dad) imitates nose picking then asks Erik if he can shake his hand.
Erik: Yeah, I’m used to it. Still gross.
Us: Are you still teaching English?
Erik: Still teaching English twice a week.
Us: (dad holds up picture of elders with giraffes)
Erik: Giraffe? Yeah, I’m not doing anything like that here. Hi Mal!
Us: We need to free up space.
Erik: Also, copy all the photos off my drive and delete the originals to free up space. My LDS email will be deleted two months after my mission.
Us: (Jordan) Kiki ‘nurses’ on my robe.
Erik: She nursed on my robe too.
Us: (dad) I’m taking the kids to school.
Erik: Okay. Bye. Bye.
Us: Can you send an email?
Erik: I can’t. Not this week? I’ll still talk to mom. I’m saying bye to dad. Bye Karissa. Bye Z. BTW they say ‘Zed’ here instead of ‘Z’. I have 35 minutes left. Not enough time for an email. So I’ll just talk. Bye Love you.
Us: How is V?
Erik: She didn’t come to church Sunday (sick), but she has a baptismal date. Jordie, Lacey, keep this secret from K and Z. I’m marking my little hymn book, and I plan on giving it to whoever will serve their mission next. I underline phrases that stand out to me, make little notes, write down a list of hymns I like, that kind of stuff.
Us: That will be a hard thing to part with.
Erik: It’ll be easy to let it go. I’ve has this idea since the moment I bought it. I keep finding more hymns that I like. Just last night I discovered a hymn called, “School Thy Feelings”. I need to learn how to sing it.
Us: Is it in the hymn book? I’ll play a little for you.
Erik: Yeah, it’s in the hymn book. Slow down speaking. A little spotty. Talking slow helps. Yes, in the back (of the hymnal). It’s in the area for men only. I can’t find it on Youtube.
Us: What are you doing on Youtube?
Erik: Listening to Glorious and other hymns. I’ve been a good boy. The only time I broke the rules was to look up KHIII’s metacritic score. I cracked.
Us: Can you hear the hymn? I’m playing it.
Erik: No. It hurts. Playing electronics like that into a speaker hurts.
Us: I will include it on an SD card for you.
Erik: Just include every hymn when you do and some of the talks you like. Conference, devotionals, stuff like that. Full sessions too. I’ve been burning through all the talks on the SD card I have so please send only stuff from before 2015. If I suddenly cut off, I ran out of time.
Us: How is brother D?
Erik: He keeps bouncing appointments.
Us: I love that you are giving blessing.
Erik: Yeah, I’m giving blessings when I can.
Us: I love you so much! I’m proud of you! You are doing hard things; things I don’t even think I could do.
Erik: Thank you! I’m gonna be a freak when I get home. Any questions?
Us: How are you and Elder P doing together?
Erik: Good. We don’t fight or argue.
Us: (Jordan) How do you get money?
Erik: We go to an ATM at the end of every month. Stores take cash only except high end expensive places.
Us: What about your debit card?
Erik: So I don’t use or carry my card.
Us: Do you feel safe in your area:
Erik: Sometimes the only way around is the shady alley. Whatever mental image of Africa you have doesn’t work. I can go from high end street, to the next street over being a literal slum. It feels almost like teleporting.
Us: How are you doing with the heat? There is no change of seasons or weather for you?
Erik: True. True. It’s still hot. I hate it. I’ll tell people how cold it gets in Utah and they don’t believe me. I haven’t ever felt cold here. But I’ll get home and you’ll hear, “Sho!!!! This is cold!!!!
Us: Keaton’s friend Cameron (who served in South Africa) said he is always cold now.
Erik: He told me that too.
Us: Have you found any souveniers?
Erik: No souvenirs. There’s a specific place where I could get them, but I don’t know how to get there. I have to go, I’m outta time, but tell dad what I’ve told you.
Us: We love you, Erik!
Erik: I love you too! Can’t wait to come home. I love the work, can’t love it any more.
